To Parents of College Freshmen: Breathe

Sharing this for parents who are dying inside at the thought of their kid leaving home in a few weeks. I was there myself. I survived...you will, too. 

To Parents of College Freshmen: Breathe

To all of you parents whose heart is breaking at the idea of your son or daughter to college: breathe.

This is what you have been preparing them for with countless amounts of energy spent, prayers, tears, hand claps and high fives, papers proofed and edited, formulas memorized, swats on the rump, groundings, scoldings, attaboys and attagirls, hugs, and words of encouragement.

Breathe.

You have taught them and, ready or not, it's time for them to take the next step towards adulthood. Do you remember how hard the first day of her kindergarten was, how difficult the first of high school was for him, and how they have managed each step between? You were there, all along the way. You did it together.

Now he'll go forward on his own, she'll take another step, going down that path you helped lay.

Breathe.

Your heart will be breaking and filled with pride of what your son or daughter has accomplished at the same time. You will be filled with wonder and fear of what his or future holds. These are real feelings - honor and respect them.

Breathe.

You will survive, no matter what your heart says right now. Your son or daughter - whom you still see holding your hand, toddling next to you, asking for a juice box - is now a young adult. She will have successes; he will make mistakes; she will call home giggling; he will call home, ashamed to admit he misses you. Listen to them, tell them you love them, and encourage them to make a new friend, or try something new, or that you remember how hard it was for you.

Breathe.

Tell an embarrassing story of how you cried yourself to sleep the first night in the dorm, or how you dropped your tray in the cafeteria, or when you ran into the Dean of Students when you weren't paying attention to where you were going. Tell them it was hard, but you survived, and learned, and grew... and they will do these things, also.

Breathe.

Tell them what you told them when they were little and tucked them in at night, "Remember...you mom loves you, your dad loves you, and Jesus loves you most of all." Tell them you'll talk tomorrow, you need to go, and goodbye. Hang up the phone.

Breathe.

Then cry.  Go check his room and make sure he didnt forget something. Look in the bathroom, make sure she didn't leave her favorite bath robe behind the door. Talk to your husband, talk with your wife, talk to a friend; tell them what you feel and listen to what is said. Know you're not alone.

Breathe...

And breathe...

And keep breathing...