A Message for Parents of Young Kids: Keep it Up!
A couple Sundays ago, I had fourteen children come up for the children’s message during the worship service. Fourteen! I felt like the Pied Piper. Or King Leonidas at Thermopylae. ("Thermopylae had her messenger of defeat; the Alamo had none." - Texas Governor Edward Burleson) If you’ve never faced down a dozen young ‘uns, single-handed, without the benefit of snacks or treats, let me tell you – those five minutes often become an exciting (!) challenge to share Jesus. I’m glad for each one who’s there. And I’m glad for the moms and dads, aunts and uncles, neighbors and friends, and grandparents and great-grandparents who bring the kids to church and Sunday school.
It’s not easy to get to church on a Sunday morning with your kids.
This is doubly difficult for parent whose spouse is at work and for the single
parents – you don’t have someone to help share the struggles with. You feel
like it’s you against them and they are winning – and sometimes you’re not even
sure who “they” are! I have watched my wife in that role for 25 years. Before
that, Dad was the solo parent while Mom played the organ. I get it.
With infants, you have diaper bags, bottles and blankets to
carry. With toddlers, there are snacks
and toys and other distractions to hopefully keep their attention up and volume
down. As they grow older, you have to fight cell phones, video games, friends,
and the inevitable “I just want to sleep,” just to get them up – grumping and
grousing – for the ride to church. You finally find a pew – your pew –
and get settled, only for the baby to load a diaper, the toddler to whack
herself with the hymnal, and the teenager to sigh and mumble one more time about
how stupid and boring church is. So, you
go to the restroom and clean up the infant, try to hush up the crying infant so
to not disturb anyone, and you give the teen a sigh right back along with a
look that says, “not today, mister.”
Before you know it, the service is over. You missed most of it and
what little you heard, you remember very little of it. You tried, but it didn’t
go the way you had hoped. Your Sunday morning was anything but a Sabbath rest.
As you wrestle the infant seat into place; as you try to buckle in the toddler (who
suddenly decides going home is a bad idea); as you listen to the teenager’s
silence, you wonder if it was worth it. Maybe your neighbor has a better idea
of staying home and having a lazy day of coffee on the porch with the dog while
the kids sleep.
It is easy to find excuses to stay home, but even on the most
stressful of Sunday mornings it is important that Christian parents haul their
families to church, even if we just feel like we are going through the motions.
Jesus is there and He provides good gifts for His Church in Word and
Sacrament. He gathers you together as His Body. He loves His Bride, the Church.
Children see what you do. You’re there to meet Jesus. They learn to love
what we love and make important what we make important. I need to go to
church to be encouraged and forgiven. The regular struggle to attend
regular worship reinforces to our children that church is a priority.
If we wait until we have perfectly well-behaved children to bring
them to church, it is likely Jesus will return first. Instead, use the time to
teach, practice, and live grace. Our children need grace, and so do we.
Regardless of how the children are acting during worship, if worship involves
entering the presence of God, then what better time than with screaming
children to experience such a grace. Who needs more grace than parents of young
kids? Let the grace and mercy of God flow over you when you need it most.
So you got to church and you survived the service, but you can’t
repeat any points from the sermon and your child was throwing a fit so epic you
missed Communion. You feel like the morning was a waste. But was it? Not at all. The Spirit was at work, even if you didn’t
realize it. While not as essential as participating in the word and sacrament, your
kids are also learning what it is to be part of the body of Christ. Your
children are meeting other kids whom, Lord willing, will likewise grow in faith
together. They are meeting adults who are praying for them, teaching them,
guiding them, and setting an example of a godly life. I have had adults tell me
how (when I was a kid) they prayed for me. They prayed for me when I left for
college, got married, went to Seminary and started the ministry. A few of them
tell me they still remember me and my family in their prayers.
These peers, pray-ers, teachers, and mentors are essential to your
child’s spiritual well-being. We live in a time when fewer and fewer other
associations will speak the Gospel. With the secularization of the world, our
children – your children! – need the Church and the church community more than
ever.
And, as a parent, you have the privilege of being part of this
community as well. If you stay home, when do you have a chance to share your
needs as well as offer support to others? Perhaps an exhausted tired momma with
a screaming baby in the back will remind others to pray for all of the
exhausted tired mommas (and especially you). You need the prayer. And, you also
need to pray for others. You see each other in your needs and you support each
other.
Perhaps the most important reason to strive for regular church
attendance is because it is part of the duty of a Christian parent. It is our
responsibility as parents to bring them up in the church. When children are
baptized, parents and sponsors promise to instruct, pray with, set an example
for, and bring the child up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. This is
an intimidating responsibility, if only for the sheer weight of its
consequences. It’s hard enough being a parent; why not do it with the help and
guidance of the church?
For the rest of us, see these kids and their parents as the
blessing that they are. Remember them in your prayers. If you are able,
consider lending a helping hand. Refrain from judgement about “the way it was
back in our day” – that’s neither helpful nor encouraging – and instead, tell
them the true story of how your son threw up on pastor’s alb and your daughter
locked herself in the bathroom. Then, remind the parents it’s OK, that it’ll
get better.
So dear
parent, rest easy. While Sunday morning might feel more like a wrestling match,
a battle of wills, or a circus, your time, efforts, and distracted worship are
worth it. Even the messiest and most frustrating days are not wasted. Thank God
for his grace—and keep it up.
Your fellow parent,
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