Grace to you and peace from God our Father and from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.
Forgiveness may be the most difficult aspect of the Christian’s life of sanctification. St. Paul gives us a good definition in 1 Corinthians 4 of what forgiveness looks like: “it does not keep account of the sin and bears no harm.” Author Lewis Smedes simplifies this and says to forgive is to surrender the right to get even[1]. Easy to say; hard to do. In large part, this is because we are human beings, people who are hurt, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually by what others do to us when they sin against us. We remember these things. Some hurts, some sins, are bigger than others and those are even harder, yet, to forgive.
If we are honest, at times we don’t want to forgive. We would rather hold on to those memories, those sins committed against us as a way of keeping score, a way of holding someone else in their place while elevating ourselves as “better than.” Even our language – carefully crafted and phrased – helps us attain this goal. Meanwhile, we keep the catalogue of sins committed against us neatly arranged so that when asked – and sometimes without invitation – we can pull the list from our memories and by date, size and location, we can drag out into the open each sin committed against us. We keep the list polished and prepared so that our friends, family members, and co-workers give their assurances that we have every reason to keep and add to that list of sins committed against us. “Oh, I’m no saint,” we gladly admit, “but at least I didn’t do such and such like so and so. Remember when she, remember how he did that?” And, thusly fortified by the devil, the world, and our own sinful flesh, we cling to our self-justification that convinces us its OK to not forgive him, it’s OK to hold that grudge against her.
Part of us feels that way, but there’s part of us that also knows we are called by Christ to forgive. Our Christian conscience, which is also redeemed in Baptismal waters by the way, hears the words of Jesus saying we are to forgive the repentant sinner even if he or she has sinned against us seven times – the point being, of course, not to cap forgiveness off at seven times, but rather that seven, a number of wholeness and holiness, indicates we are to forgive wholly and without end. A baptized child of God, we want to fulfill this sanctified act of showing mercy and love to our neighbor.
That’s relatively easy, of course, if sins are so minor that they can be forgiven with hardly a thought – someone borrows a pen and forgets to return it, effectively stealing it from you. Ten Bics for a buck – no major loss; it’s not hard to forgive the theft of that pen. In fact, most wouldn’t even register that as sin, let alone forgiveness. But, what if your roommate stole next month’s rent money out of your sock drawer, or kid at school – who you thought was your friend - writes your name and number with sexual inuendo on the bathroom stall door at school? What if your next-door neighbor pot-shots your best show animal, or your spouse commits adultery, or your child swears at you and tells you to go to hell? How do you forgive those sins? Those are much harder to forgive.
Now, what if it happens again, and again, and again – the same person doing the same thing to you, and each time repenting, contritely acknowledging their sin against you, asking for grace, offering amends, and promising not to do it again --- only to do the exact same thing again, and again and again. Now what? How do you forgive that? How do you forgive someone who, based on their continued and repetitive actions, obviously does not deserve your forgiveness even when they ask for the umpteenth time to be forgiven for the umpteenth time they have sinned against you?
To forgive begins with your own repentance. Repent for your selfish desire to get even. Repent for the attitude that says they do not deserve to be forgiven. Repent for the attitude that you are less of a sinner than they are and they are going to get what they deserve. Repent for the desire to act as judge and jury for those who have sinned against you. Repent of your heart that has grown hard and unwilling to forgive. Repent for an idea that you no longer need to forgive someone who has sinned against you for the eighth time.
Repentance may seem like a strange place to begin to forgive when someone has sinned repeatedly against you. But in confessing your own sins and standing in humility before God the Father as a sinner, you see yourself as a sinner and under the same condemnation for your own sins as the one who sinned against you. You see yourself as one for whom Jesus died. And, more than that, you are able to see the one who sinned against you through their reflection of the cross of Jesus.
The second part of forgiveness is prayer, specifically prayer for faith. Again, this seems strange – to pray for faith in order to forgive. But we are only able to forgive when we first understand that forgiveness flows from Jesus and can only be received through faith in Him as Lord and Savior. Forgiveness, like faith, is a gift of God given through the death and resurrection of Christ. In Christ, God reconciled the world to Himself, Christ’s perfect life fulfilling God’s commands for holiness; Christ’s innocent death fulfilling God’s demands for atonement. Sins wages are fulfilled in Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, the payment made in full by the blood of Jesus. We obviously do not deserve forgiveness because, among other things, we daily sin much and indeed deserve nothing but punishment. And, we commit the same sins over and over and over. How many times have you stood at this very altar confessing the same sin, knowing you deserve nothing but God’s wrath for your repetitive sin?
Thanks be to God, We are forgiven, not because deserve it, but by the merits of Jesus. Faith receives this gift of God and enables the child of God to trust that Christ came into the world to save the sinner. Faith believes that repentant sinners are forgiven solely and completely in Christ.
Forgiveness is a gift that is meant to be shared. We become channels, conduits, of forgiveness. Having been forgiven, Christ’s forgiveness flows through us to those around us. Faith, then, enables me to receive that forgiveness from Jesus and share it with those who have sinned against me. The same faith that trusts Christ’s forgiveness also trusts Christ’s forgiveness for the one who has sinned against me. And if Christ is able to forgive me for all my sins against Him, and the same is true for my brother or sister, then what else can I do bur forgive him or her, regardless the number of times I’ve been sinned against.
But, Pastor, that sounds great in theory, but you don’t know what my husband or wife, my ex or their family, mother or father, neighbor, coworker, classmate, or my used-to-be-friend did to me. It was too many times, too great of sins, too painful. It’s impossible to forgive that person. To you, my friend, Jesus tells this very short parable of faith the size of a mustard seed and a mulberry tree. People misunderstand this parable as being a demonstration of the power of our faith. It’s not. Put it in the context of this passage: Jesus is speaking of forgiveness. The disciples have prayed for an increase of faith so that they can forgive as Jesus forgives. Faith is not about making a tree jump into the Gulf of Mexico. Faith in Christ – even the smallest amount - enables you to look at that person, that brother or sister in Christ who sinned terribly against you, and say, “I forgive you.” That is an even greater miracle than successfully telling that huge Live Oak tree out front to jump in the Guadalupe River. That’s impossible. But, by God’s grace through faith in Christ, it is possible to even forgive that which seems to be unforgivable. That doesn’t mean it will be easy. It might even have to be something you practice daily, over and over, day after day. But God, in Christ, by the power of the Holy Spirit will give you mustard-sized faith to be able to do this.
Earlier I said forgiveness may be the most difficult aspect of the Christian’s life of sanctification. Difficult does not equal impossible. What does this look like? In May 2015, during the trial for the murderer Dylann Roof who shot victims in a Charleston, South Carolina, church, one of the surviving family members told mass murderer Dylann Roof that they had forgiven him. "I forgive you. You took something really precious away from me," said Nadine Collier, daughter of Ethel Lance, one of the nine church members killed. "But I forgive you and have mercy on your soul. It hurts me, it hurts a lot of people, but God forgives you, and I forgive you."
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