Jesus says, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”
I
submit those are some of the hardest, most difficult words in the Bible. Don’t
get me wrong – it’s not that love is impossible. Love is very possible. Next
week is Mother’s Day and mothers, you will get all sorts of gifts to
demonstrate your sons’ and daughters’ love for you. You’ll get Crayola-scented,
construction paper cards that quote Elizabeth Barrett Browning, “How do I love
thee? Let me count the ways…” and are loaded with glitter and a list that
includes hugs, kisses, and tickles. You’ll get bottles of cologne that burns, a
little more than necessary, when you dab it behind the ear. You’ll get James
Avery jewelry that, perhaps, someone helped pick out and pay for. You’ll hear “We
love you, Mommy” as your kids – now adults - call from 1000 miles away. Husbands
will bring the very best bottle of Boon’s Farm wine and the least-dead rose
they can find at the corner gas station. And, for that moment, all will be
right in the world as you say, “And, I love you too, sweetie.”
But
what about the mother whose last memory of her daughter involves swearing, spitting,
and a car racing away into the darkness. It’s been thirty years without a visit,
a phone call, or even a card to say, “I just want you to know I’m OK.” There’s
no love there.
Or
when the husband comes home from work to find his wife of 35 years, sitting on
the back porch with two glasses of wine on the table. She says, “I’m sorry…I
just don’t love you anymore. I’m leaving.” Wherein is love?
Or
when two life-long friends who grew up together and went to the same school together,
played ball together, started at the same company together, lived in the same
subdivision together, and suddenly the relationship is broken because one got
promoted and the other warned about sloppy job performance. Suddenly the
relationship is strained, the evening family get togethers become skirmishes
between the husbands while the wives snip and snark at each other and the kids wonder
what has happened. What happened to love?
The
House of Palms, here in town, is a shelter for teenage mothers-to-be. There,
the story is almost always the same: a young teenage girl, who naively thought
her boyfriend really loved her and really wanted to be with her forever, gives
herself to him. When she suddenly discovers she is pregnant, he wants nothing
to do with her and her parents, angry and embarrassed, give her the option to
get rid of the baby or get out of the house. Scared and alone, abandoned by
boyfriend and not wanting to do what the parents demand to remain part of the
household, she runs away from home and hides in shame. Love is almost a
punchline.
Love
one another? How can we love when we experience such hurt? How can we love in a
time like this?
You
can’t. But Jesus can. He takes into Himself the sins of the swearing daughter
and the unfaithful wife. He accepts the sins of the friends who start feuding
and the girl who loved and lost, then fled and hid. He dies for every time you
fail to demonstrate love to your spouse and your neighbor, your children and
your coworkers, your parents and your friends. He pays the atoning price of
death for all of the times when the world has failed to love.
It’s
as if Jesus says, “Since you do not understand, you do not know what love is,
let me show you: Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life
for his friends. So, I will lay down my life for you. Herein is love. Because I
love you, I will die for you.”
And,
remarkably, Jesus calls the people He dies for – the people whose very sins weigh
him down on the cross – He calls them friends. In the ancient, Biblical world
friendship was different than it is today. Today, friendships are between
people of common interests and ideas, more or less equals. Then, friendship was
always from the greater to the lesser, the person of more honor or prestige choosing
a relationship with someone of lesser honor. Jesus is Lord and Master. He has
chosen the disciples, He has chosen you. The greater has chosen the lesser. In
our modern language, we might call this a benefactor. Friendship isn’t based on
what the lesser gives to the greater; it’s all about what the greater gives to
the lesser. Jesus calls us friends. In His holiness, He gives everything to
those who are far from holy. In His love, the Sinless One gives Himself into
death for sinners. He doesn’t call us unlovable. He calls us friends.
What
a remarkable thing to be called friends of Jesus! It’s not what you bring to
the relationship that makes it a friendship. It’s what Jesus gives to it and
declares it to be. We, the most unworthy of all, are made worthy by the love of
Jesus. The Master of all is willing to lay down His life for the people He
chose. That love of Jesus, that self-giving, self-sacrificing love of Jesus is
delivered to us from the Cross, chosen through the font, spoken to through
Word, and fed through Bread and Wine. Slaves don’t get it; friends know.
How
do we love one another as Christ has loved us? By abiding in His love. Abide
means to live in, dwell in, be surrounded by, be encapsulated by His love. Do
you see the passiveness of this? When you abide in your house, you don’t do
anything – you’re simply there. The house does all the work, so to speak, of
sheltering and protecting you. So, to abide in His love is to receive all of
the fulness of His love. Our translation says, “If you keep my commandments,
you will abide in my love.” A better way to say understand it is, “As you keep
my commandments.” Jesus is restating what He said earlier in John 15 – what we
heard last week – to remain in His love is to remain in His Word. His love in
us produces obedience to His Word. Obedience stands as evidence of being in His
love. It’s a beautiful cycle of God to us and we responding to Christ’s command
by seeking to love others.
And,
as a result of being forgiven and loved by Christ, loving others is that easy.
But, at the same time, although we are forgiven, we are still sinners living
among fellow sinner-saints, and for that reason loving others is hard. On the
one hand, we want to love; on the other hand, we want nothing to do with love
and seek revenge. Repent. Repent of the sinful need to withhold love until we
feel vindicated. Repent of the sinful desire to think that someone is not
worthy of our love. Repent of the idea that, somehow, we’re better than those
who have sinned against us. Repent of the notion and that God’s love is only
for me, not for them. Repent of letting the way of the world determine who we
will and who we won’t love. Repent of our unwillingness to love.
And
then pray. Jesus said, “Whatever you ask of the Father in my name, He will give
it to you.” This isn’t a general instruction of prayer – ask for a new Ford and
you’ll get it. Look at this in the context of love. Jesus is talking about how
He has chosen us and appointed us to bear fruit. What is fruit? Good works.
And, in this context, the specific good work is to love. So, Jesus is saying if
you want to learn to love, ask for God’s help in producing the good fruit of love.
But, let me warn you: when you do this and you ask God to help you love that
person who simply drives you nuts, here’s what will happen – as you continue
praying for God to enable you to love that person, you will discover He is
doing just that and your heart begins to soften. When you see them, the top of
your head no longer wants to explode. In fact, you even start to see them as a
brother or sister in Christ. You note this, you recognize this, and you are
amazed that the love of God is filling you and overflowing through you toward
this other person. And then the old Adam rears his ugly, sinful head. Wait –
this person hurt you, they said bad things about you, they were ugly to your family,
and they did it one too many times. The Old Adam demands revenge, not love, and
all of those old feelings come rushing back in and love gets pushed aside.
Recognize it for what it is: the devil seeking to destroy love. Repent of this.
Return to your baptism where Jesus showed His love to you, forgiving you of all
of your sins. That’s the beauty of baptism – it never wears out. Return to your
baptism, be refilled with the love of Jesus, and pray again that God
strengthens you to love that brother or sister who seems unlovable. Even if
your love might falter, the love of God in Christ is perfect and fulfilled for
you. You may never be best friends with that person again, but God in His grace
will let you see him or her at least as a fellow friend of Jesus and loved by
God.
How
do we “Love one another as I have loved you”? In Christ, through Christ, and by
the grace of Christ.
Amen.
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